Here's how to get even with a narcissist

by ellie
(united kingdom)

I have just gotten out of a 2 year relationship with a narcissist.

I didn't even know what one was until a few weeks ago and alot of internet research.

The thing with these people is their behaviour can also mimic control freak behavior which is different the clever ass i was with done this: let me think he was a control freak with low self esteem and depression and whatever he could do to get sympathy from me and i fell 4 it.

I am a middle aged woman, I own my own business, car and house.

When I met him my ex husband was ill. My ex husband was a good man; we had 12 years of marriage and 3 children.

We got divorced but remained close and shared the kids. Anyway, I was out in a club one nite with friends and looking back now with hindsite I think he targeted me,he just seemed to appear,he wasn't even my type and I didn't want a relationship,he was very charming and we started dating.

I found out a few weeks later that my ex was dying and at first well so I thought he was sympathetic.

He always seemed to play victim tho when I had a prob he was ill or depressed. I should of looked more closely but was worried about my kids he was so jealous of them.

The first date we went on a girl keep pushing into me and started an argument outside club the doormen had to step in he hid round corner.

It turns out he'd dumped her 2 weeks b4 meeting me after being with her 4 a year. She got revenge tho - she got engaged 2 his best mate and he got binned off both ways ha ha.

Anyway as things progressed I had a terrible gut feeling if I spoke 2 anybody I got third degree.

When I danced he'd scream in my face in front of everybody and go home text me asking who I had in my bed, would walk down road shouting c*** and bastard at top of his voice,the list goes on.

I used to feel sorry 4 him,he lost his job thru abuse and lived off me 4 3 months I asked him 2 lend me 40 pound his reply was fancy asking a man on the dole 4 money.

I could handle him till my ex was dying then his true evilness started.

I can never comprehend how anybody can be so evil that's what really affects me most. My ex had a few weeks to live so we brought him home from hossy so he could be with his children.

Our youngest child is ten our grief was terrible and I couldn't cope with my childrens pain.

He caused an argument and didn't speak 2 me 4 a week, xmas week I got the texts and let him back.

The day my ex died I got a fone call in morn. We were in bed he got up went home and turned his fone off whilst I at with my kids.

I drove up 2 his that nite he was sat in pub with his daughter having a good time.

He came to the funeral and after told his daughter my ex used 2 beat me up.

I was that low after that and still didn't see it.

I just thought he could't cope with me and my son's grief.

A few weeks after he talked me into moving in with him and was very interested in my finances.

He didn't like it when I said mind your own business.

He knew my weakness was my youngest son. I was very protective of him. Where I went he went.

My son stayed at his nans one nite and becoz he wanted sex and I said no he turned around and said he didn't give a shit about my son.

I punched his lights out - he was a mess. I was horrified that I could do that and went 4 counseling.

With hindsite now, he was the victim me the abuser and he knew my son was the button 2 press.

I only got 2 three sessions of counseling; he kept me that busy i 4got appointments.

The headgames got worse after that he used to throw me and my child out and lock the doors.

I was knocking to get in and I saw him hiding in the kitchen. He wouldn't open the door.

He used 2 ignore me and change his numb then he changed his tactics.

He wouldn't tell me 2 get out; he'd say 'your choice 2 leave'.

In other words: I can abuse you as much as I want and its your choice to leave.

The week silences were the worst.

Anyway, after calling me a c*** and going 2 germany with his mates 4 a few days, I went snooping and found out he'd been married 3 times.

His unreasonable behaviour was proven so I foned him and told him he couldn't wriggle out of it.

I unmasked him.

Then he got nasty.

He got home. I made sure my son was at my friends and I could feel the tension coming off him, so I said 2 him you're a weak bully who abuses women behind closed doors and he was useless.

He stormed out.

I had all my stuff out of the house.

These arseholes love money and they do love their possessions - not living ones tho.

I poured the entire chipan on the bed and covered it with quilt, and his beloved bike (which I paid 4) I poured sugar in the tank and tipped bin over in kitchen and left.

I feel so much better now I know what he is.

He got nastier when I started realising what he really was.

I pray to God I never come across another one of these in my life.

And my heart goes out to anybody who lives with one.

A normal loving person cannot understand an unhealthy mind unless they educate themselves.

He used sadistic mental torture techniques on me.

The next victim may not be so lucky.

ellie

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Apr 15, 2015
Is he a narcassist or not, that is the ?
by: Anonymous

I hope someone can answer my question. That's how bad it is, I don't know if my ex was a narc. Because he convinced me and gave me all the excuses in the book as to why I was the bad guy in the relationship. Everything was beautiful to start off, the guy told me he loved me very quickly. I was stoked to meet this great guy who seemed to respect that I had a daughter too. But things changed. We would go out in public, he would look at other woman and they would notice and then look at me...I felt humiliated and asked him to not do that out of respect for me. But no, it was all me. I was too jealous, I was making him uncomfortable for saying anything. Then I struggled to get much contact and time from the guy...who loved me? His friends were important, his time out was important, his drinking was important. So I spend my last three and half years trying to find where exactly I sat in his life. If I had a disagreement with him, I would ask him to leave my home and then he would shut me down for days. He wouldn't talk to me and would break up with me and then go sleep with someone he didn't know. He told me I was jealous and controlling. But here I was the loyal girlfriend, being there for him when he wanted to be in his life, working full time, never asking for a cent, making him comfortable in my home. Giving him my time and having to be a single mum as well. We didn't live together so it was like he had another life for which he would get bored with and then come join mine. But he could quit me at any time, make excuses but then want to come back. He did this to me twice, then the third time, I had asked him to cancel a trip with his friends and to go with me instead...we talked about a trip but he never committed to anything. But he ended up breaking up with me and going on the trip with his friends and sleeping with some random lady. I ofcourse was devasted...again. He kept making the excuse that I didn't trust him evne though he was faithful in our relatinships. But I told him that I didn't trust the way he deals with things and his shut downs and that he kept sleeping with other woman so quickly even though he said he loved me. I had said to him numberous times that if he did that to me, I would not take him back. But I still did. But then somebody said to me...'Do you have any boundaries'....and it hit me. Once upon a time, I would never allow a man to hurt me in that way and then I had to ask myself why had this man become the centre of my earth to the point that I completely lost myself in his world. why had I allowed someone to control my life to the point that it was out of control. I finally realized when last week he ask if he still had a chance that this man was going to do this to me continuously. That he would never be fulfilled with being committed to me, that somehow he would find a reason to vacate our relationship. He was in his mid 30s and a grown man yet he still was very lost in the party world that I so did not want to be a part of. I also started dating a guy for about a week and my ex was all of a sudden interested...perhaps scared that he lost me or that he no longer had my attention. He said he missed all that yet what I didn't understand was that he made out that my love was just way too much for him and he wanted it back. Ladies, it was very empowering to walk away and tell him to get and live his life sleeping with whoever he wanted and that I didn't want him back. YOu see I had discovered a lot about myself too and I had finally found myself. Now I have the time to heal and to be a better person because through this relationship I learnt so much about what I was doing wrong and so I look forward to being happy emotionally. I know my ex had Narc characteristics because I struggeled to say how I feel and sometimes I felt that I had to do what he wanted. I just went along with it and ended up losing myself. Its really important ladies that you don't lose yourself in any relationship and any man that loves will respect you, be there for you and also have empathy and sympathy for you. My ex really was not like that at all and so I am telling you now, don't contact your ex narc. I haven't and I feel much better if I don't know whats happening with him. It feels like he things his live is so fancy and wonderful that he tells you everything and you just look at them and wonder how they could possibly think that even the bad things they do are so fantabulus...Ladies, remember the morals your parents taught you and don't forget your boundaries. Trust your instincts and get out ... the city I live in is full of men that want to party and that's how they live...but I will never give up on finding love ...whether its for me or another person.

Apr 14, 2015
4yrs of hell
by: samm

I stumbled upon this site...must have been my guardian angel.I hate saying that reading everyone's stories, it makes me feel good in a weird way..I met this guy 4yrs ago,he wasn't my type, I thought he was odd, hated his style, he was unemployed, lived with his 50yr old sister, her husband,19yr old niece, her new baby and her loser boyfriend...I'm actually laughing reading that in print. I was 43,single, tons of friends, tons of options for any guy I wanted, and HAPPY!! I only went out with him thinking he'd be a fun guy to have as a friend, absolutely NOTHING more...obviously he did turn out to be more and honesty, I still have NO idea how it happened..I was bored and got sucked in..fast forward 4yrs and it has been a NIGHTMARE!..I have NEVER been treated and mindfucked so bad in my life. He has left me probably 10 times.leaving me with our rent, bills, etc, only to always start begging for me back exactly 2.5 weeks later, at the time I'm always happy, dating great guys, hanging out with friends, AND my real estate career seems to FLOURISH the second he is gone...I can NOT explain why I ALWAYS fall for his begging and take him back, it makes NO sense....I have never been that pathetic girl, I was the one who guys chased and I didn't give them the time of day...Anyway, during these 4yrs he has told anyone who will listen that I'm crazy, and violent. If we have an argument he will call his family, his only friend, post on FB, my family, coworkers and tell them a completely fabricated story and try and get sympathy, AND this guy is 50!!!! Tries everything he can to publicly tarnish my reputation with anyone, even strangers! Luckily, my friends can't stand him, his co-workers like me better than him, and his family has moved on from the hate crazy Samm campaign and turned it on the niece's ex...They are the most bizarre family, not sure if they suffer from mental illness or their parents just sucked....So, here I am on this site, I am at this moment getting the 'silent treatment' because I had the audacity to question him on something that I had proof didn't add up...did he answer the question..haha..the response was " you dumb cunt, fuck yourself, you are a cheater(never cheated), you've fucked more guys than any chick I know"...then he chased me into the kitchen and threw me against the wall and told me to get the fuck out...then when I left he started texting me about what a whore I am, selfish I am, my family and friends hate me, NEVER once even mentioning anything about the lie I caught him in...the weekend before we were going out of town and he was going to gym first, he said he was going to record store after gym to get CD for out 2hr drive, I said, lets just go to the store on way out of town so I could get CD too....he flipped out started screaming "What, you think I'm gonna cheat on you at the record store you insecure stupid bitch,,quit trying to control me"...I was sitting there in complete confusion, thinking in my mind, I just wanted to get a CD....the texts from the gym were ranting and raving about how I try and control him, along with nasty things about what horrible person I am.....anyway, his behavior has gotten so off the wall with not just me in last few months I am drained to the point of not giving a shit...I want out, I want my life back, I want peace and love in my life...this isn't living...

Mar 22, 2015
Unmasked
by: Anonymous

Never ever knew a N , until 2013!

Devin M...m is the Biggest, keeping him near will result into intoxication.

Furthermore, accusations pointed your way by this individual ; is gratifying.

Nevertheless, when the same is reversed on him ,
He Will get outraged, yell, wishes he can urinate on you and hit you with a closed fist and drag you through a grave yard!

Be aware...,
Now that I aware ; I thank God that I am Loved by me First and my Family.

While he remains miserable, lonely,and no loyal friends except for his safety nets that he has had relations with, and keeps around for when he needs a Boost!!!

Best Wishes

Mar 20, 2015
Very Sad
by: Anonymous

The thing that strikes me about your story is how much you put your family and yourself at risk. All the warning signs were there, you purposely ignored them. Narcissists are powerless to do anything to anyone unless they are allowed in to do so. You have issues that need to be worked through before you even get involved with someone. You chose to have an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist, and expose your children to him. What you should be doing is healing your self, getting your life in order, learning to respect yourself, put the health and needs of your children above your own. Then and only then can you have a healthy loving relationship. Don't sell yourself short because you are afraid of being alione. This is what you are doing. Until you realize it is you that attract and chose to be with narcissists you will always be trying to escape them .

Mar 16, 2015
THE N/C FROM NARC BROKEN TODAY
by: Anonymous

The Narcissist ex text me today asking if I wanted something of his daughters( offered when we were together) long story. I said HELL NO! Then he said well didn't hurt to ask. I said your not in my life anymore you sure got some nerve, want you give it to your gf's daughter. Then he said, I would have to call her and ask but prefer to give it to her friends here, sorry to have bothered you. I said GOOD!
I SHOULD HAVE NOT RESPONDED AT ALL BUT MY ANGER GOT THE BEST OF ME FOR HIM TEXTING, AND NOW I REGRET IT.

Mar 09, 2015
Three months with ONE
by: Anonymous

I spent 90 days with my ex Narcissist. I was love bombed at the beginning with future faking, and roses every week for two months, Jewelry first two months. He had a ex fiancé eight hours away as the back up plan. I have been in no contact for over a month now, he text once a few weeks ago, I immediately deleted it. He had a sex addiction and loved to brag about the women in the past he was with. Crossed all my boundaries. After first breakup that lasted two weeks he was with the ex fiancé. And then the final breakup was back again. Sicko. HOPEFULLY KARMA WITH CATCH UP WITH THEM. I know now when one comes on that strong right away, run forest run.

Feb 04, 2015
Life with a narcissist aka roach
by: Anonymous

My ex was cold, calculating, cheap and not good looking. I fell for him because he was charming, he said all the right things and made certain statements that made be believe we had a future together. After a year of dating I was drained from constantly giving him emotional support and being disrespected. He wasn't much to look at and was rarely generous. He would bed women on dating sites and pretend that they were just friends. I suspect that every relationship he's ever had has ended badly because eventually a woman sees him for what he really is, a roach.

I'm moving on and focusing on myself so that I won't repeat the same mistake. I did learn several valuable lessons from him. Love does not hurt. Trust must be earned through actions not words. And most important we must set boundaries and walk away immediately when we are disrespected.

To all the ladies on this site I leave you with one piece of advice: Know your worth and honor yourself.




Jan 11, 2015
This worked for me
by: scott

Well for starters I prayed for her, I had so much un-forgiveness for the things she had done to me & it was making me sick as hell- It really worked for me,2nd AVOID CONTACT, they are experts at sucking you into their web, she did it before & she will do it again if given the opportunity, the sick bastards that they are pry on what is good in you. By ignoring them you take away their control over you & miraculously you begin to heal & realize that you have put distance between where you were & begin to dream again. I have a civil procedure around the corner & will have my day- This person doesn't exist any longer in my book & I will due what is needed & leave the rest for the creator who did for me what I couldn't do for myself & w/that being to get the hell out of a toxic situation.

Jan 07, 2015
Abused!!
by: Anonymous

First this 45 yr.old man has sister that is 16 years younger than him , she never wanted us together she accused me of stealing, lieing, keeping him from his family, he would go visit his family and stay a month or just a week or two & wouldn't text me or call. But before all this he wanted me to get us a place together away from his family and his sister. But after a week or longer he wanted out of the apartment. He was very good to me before all this he brought me nice gifts but he all oftthe sudden stopped but he got to looking up woman on the porn, facebook, old girlfriends and having dating sites on his phone. I ask him about them & he said they were like Facebook. I said they aren't either it's called cheating, Facebook is cheating it's school mates & old friends he didn't want me to have friends. His sister is married and should minded her own business but it's hard for her to do. She stayed in their business most of the time.When he visited his family he would tell lies on her, he would say she was stealing from him well he keep his stuff locked in a toolbox so how would she steal it, but when he came home he would tell her that his sister, mother,brother in law, best friend stole from him. She had no car & no way to go anywhere & if she went anywhere with friends she as accused of screwing around. So he got on dope hard stuff and accused her of telling his family & his doctor she told no one. But the man got really sick about a year before they moved in apartment & she took very good care of him in a hospital about a125 miles from his family his family visited about or around 2 or 3 times his sister would back mouth her ( his girlfriend ) while she took very good care of him she loved him and still does. While they use him. Well he after his sister had broke him up a lot, ( his ex girlfriend ) got stopped by a policeman & they founded 800mg ibproven in her c.ar and he said she stole them and she went to jail. Him & his sorry sister had her arrested and a month or so before that his sister her barred from her brothers apartment when he asked her to come over there. This sister has put this sister lady thought hell it's almost like she slept with her brother. Something isn't right about this. I do know the mother & sister have told him if she is seen with her they will cut his bills off & disown him. They r abusing him. Let me know what u think?

Dec 23, 2014
here a few ways to deal with a nd
by: gt

I have had to deal with a mother/daughter trio for years with nd personality. I learn too late what I had been dealing with. just remember You will not win, just only to break even with them and be sure to keep your wits about you. I say fight FIRE WITH FIRE !!!
1. buy a ditial tape recorder ---- tape every thing that they say. you will use they own words against them.
2. buy a camero --- to tape them in secret. you will not be breaking any laws. Watch the movie very closely, watch they movements-- you can tell when they are lieing.
3. WRITE DOWN dates,times, think about it, any little things and you will see a pattern on what has being going on !!!

YOU ARE NOT CRAZE, you are HURT, USED, ABUSE,
made FUN OF, every thing in between. YES THIS IS REVENGE--- SO WHAT,
I have read many atticles on this and not many
tell how to get even with a nd personilty, they just tell you to run away which is fine if you want to do that. BUT REMEMBER IF YOU TRY TO GET BACK AT THEM, MAKE DAMM SURE YOU ARE UP TO DO IT AND THEY WILL BE ACTIONS AGAINST YOU THAT YOU WILL NOT LIKE, SO JUST BE WARE !!!!


Oct 15, 2014
Getting away is the hardest bit
by: Anonymous

Dear Ladies
I have been obsessively reading the posts here and on other sites to continuously remind myself that a narcissist is ALWAYS a narcissist! I am a woman in her 50's with a similar story - in the process of leaving a 4 year relationship with a man who fits the profile totally. I live in a small rural community and we have neighbouring properties - that's how this whole thing got started - I now see that he was 'grooming' me for quite some time before making his move!
After reading these posts I can see that there is a pattern in my life of falling for these men... I had just fought my way out of a devastating marriage (my second) with another Narc... When the current one manoeuvred his way into my life! They can spot vulnerability from a great distance and are calculating with their choice of victims.
I am fascinated by the patterns of behaviour that others have written about - the obsession with money and getting anything at all for free; the controlling behaviour, isolating you from friends and family, ignoring birthdays , the rage and put downs ...not only of his 'victim' but of everyone behind their backs.
How did I get fooled so completely? I am an educated woman with a high paying job and a rural property that I love - it will not be a surprise to anyone here to learn that he has continuously put pressure on me to sell and move in with him, but I have resisted much to his disgust.
I know that the pressure will mount but the upshot will be that he will just move on to someone else when he realises that this time I will stand strong. It is difficult when the narcissist lives close to you but I am determined that I will not give up my property until I am ready to, so to stand strong is going to be very much part of my healing. Like others here i have been through the regular break-ups and him returning to his ex almost immediately, the realisations that you are really just a convenience to him, a source of money, food and company - and someone to bully oh, so subtly at times and oh so overtly at other times. This man is unbelievable wealthy but has the complete obsession with not spending anything that seems to be a trait that Narcs have in common!
I have come to the sad realisation that all the men I have had what I thought were meaningful relationships with have had quite severe narcissistic traits - so the problem really is about fixing yourself ( you can't fix them, and they don't want to be fixed anyway) so that you NEVER EVER enter into any sort of relationship with one of these toxic people again. I will keep reading and keep my eyes open in the future.... No more of this for me! Much gratitude for this site- keep up the good work!

Oct 15, 2014
Getting away is the hardest bit
by: Anonymous

Dear Ladies
I have been obsessively reading the posts here and on other sites to continuously remind myself that a narcissist is ALWAYS a narcissist! I am a woman in her 50's with a similar story - in the process of leaving a 4 year relationship with a man who fits the profile totally. I live in a small rural community and we have neighbouring properties - that's how this whole thing got started - I now see that he was 'grooming' me for quite some time before making his move!
After reading these posts I can see that there is a pattern in my life of falling for these men... I had just fought my way out of a devastating marriage (my second) with another Narc... When the current one manoeuvred his way into my life! They can spot vulnerability from a great distance and are calculating with their choice of victims.
I am fascinated by the patterns of behaviour that others have written about - the obsession with money and getting anything at all for free; the controlling behaviour, isolating you from friends and family, ignoring birthdays , the rage and put downs ...not only of his 'victim' but of everyone behind their backs.
How did I get fooled so completely? I am an educated woman with a high paying job and a rural property that I love - it will not be a surprise to anyone here to learn that he has continuously put pressure on me to sell and move in with him, but I have resisted much to his disgust.
I know that the pressure will mount but the upshot will be that he will just move on to someone else when he realises that this time I will stand strong. It is difficult when the narcissist lives close to you but I am determined that I will not give up my property until I am ready to, so to stand strong is going to be very much part of my healing. Like others here i have been through the regular break-ups and him returning to his ex almost immediately, the realisations that you are really just a convenience to him, a source of money, food and company - and someone to bully oh, so subtly at times and oh so overtly at other times. This man is unbelievable wealthy but has the complete obsession with not spending anything that seems to be a trait that Narcs have in common!
I have come to the sad realisation that all the men I have had what I thought were meaningful relationships with have had quite severe narcissistic traits - so the problem really is about fixing yourself ( you can't fix them, and they don't want to be fixed anyway) so that you NEVER EVER enter into any sort of relationship with one of these toxic people again. I will keep reading and keep my eyes open in the future.... No more of this for me! Much gratitude for this site- keep up the good work!

Sep 13, 2014
so upset
by: Anonymous

I was with my N partner for 18 months. To everyone that knows him ...They think he's fantastic. Professional and honest and all those things I thought he was. He met me at where I work with one of his clients. I was at a very low point and during conversation I said I was really stressed. He left after the meeting and I never gave him a second thought. One morning as I was coming to work he was waiting for me and asked me out. I said no but he never gave up.We ended up going out and I admit I think he saved my life. I was on the verge of a breakdown. He sorted out all my crap. Helped me find a new place to live ..I would go to his at weekends and it was bliss...The first three months that is. I met his friends who liked me and his family. In hindsight I don't think he liked that. 9 months into the relationship he was made redundant and the flat he was renting was sold so he moved into mine.He said he was finding it hard and he started having terrible mood swings. I thought it was bi polar. He drank whisky a lot. He went through my emails. Texts ..at the time I was not bothered. I had nothing to hide. I asked him if he was a narcatist and he smiled and said his phycologist had said he had traits. I then discovered I Was pregnant. Within 6 hrs I miscarried. I was just over 3 months. He was so cold towards me. How dare I get pregnant in the first place. I was 44. I was shocked t oo

Sep 04, 2014
spam
by: Anonymous

There are spam filters. Spam on this site should be avoided and prevented. I know it is harmless but it lessens the credibility of the content on this site when allowed and not eliminated.

Sep 03, 2014
SPELL CASTERS
by: aunt bee

Hi everyone

Just wanted to explain again about these spell caster emails:

they're just people who have figured out how to get 'free advertising' by posting this junk in forums.

Please just ignore them.

I do get rid of them when I see them; but when someone comments on a page it goes straight through - so I have to clean up after the fact.

Don't let it get to you; the person or people sending these aren't seeing your replies, and if they were - it would be best that they get no attention, right?

Sep 03, 2014
HIV?? HERBAL MEDICINE?? WHAT?
by: Anonymous

What does HERBAL MEDICINE AND HIV have to do with narcissists?? I am about ready to get off this site. Wherever the administrator is -- please pay attention to what is being added here and delete what doesn't belong. Thanks

Aug 28, 2014
Spellcasters??? Please
by: Anonymous

Even if you want your narcissist/man back... what good does it do to force him back? He has to come on his own. Please, no more of these references to SPELL CASTERS... That is a whole other website. Thanks.

Aug 26, 2014
re: LOVE SPELL
by: Anonymous

Love spells have no place when dealing with a narcissist. Why would you want him/her back in the first place?? If you have to place a spell on someone to be with you... there is a bigger problem than the fact this person is a narcissist.. You need to ask yourself why you are willing to settle for NOTHING in a relationship??

Please stop with the Love Spell stuff.

Hocus Pocus is not the answer in dealing with a narcissist. Besides.. anyone who has ever dealt with a narcissist knows that they are the pros at games. You will never win.

Aug 26, 2014
SPELL CASTERS
by: aunt bee

Hi everyone

Just wanted to explain about the 'spell casters' mails that come in sometimes.

They're just spam, so ignore them and don't even give them any attention.

Apparently some people like to go on these types of sites and 'comment' with their ads to get some free marketing.

Aug 25, 2014
Love spells??
by: LJP

I'm sorry but I fail to see how any of these so called has anything to do with dealing with a narcissist in helping to heal and move up with your life in a healthy and positive direction. We all have free Will and I don't believe any spell can cure the narcissist in your life.
Perhaps someone can enlighten me about that plan.
Thanks and sending many blessings to all who have or are still suffering.

Aug 23, 2014
What?
by: Anonymous

What is with this spell cast stuff?

Aug 23, 2014
What?
by: Anonymous

What is with this spell cast stuff?

Aug 18, 2014
my narcissitic ex husband
by: debi

He asked me to marry him after 3 months. 9 months later we got married. He was perfect for me. 2 months after we were married I found out he was on sex dating web sites asking to hook up with women. I also found several nasty text messages between him and women. He of course convinced me that nothing happened and he would stop. Like a fool I believed him. He was unable to keep a steady job. They lasted from 2 weeks to 6 months with months of not working between the jobs. It was never his fault when he was fired. At first the sex was great then after we got married it was when he wanted it and exactly how he wanted it. If I didn't do exactly what he wanted he would yell at me. He was very jealous and always accusing me of cheating. He would be gone from the house for hours with his cell turned off. He prayed before every meal and was supposibly religious. I caught him on sex dating websites again. When he came home very drunk one night I looked at his texts. He was in love with a 25yr old (he is 44) and was sending nude photos to her. I kicked him out. I let him back into my life and ended up giving him a total of $2500 until I find these types of sites. No contact with him now. It is very hard to accept he never loved me but I get it now.

Aug 17, 2014
Wolf dressed in sheep's clothing !
by: leasall

Where do I begin ...Well I met my N after being separated from my husband for almost 3 years ..I thought I'd wait and give myself time to heal and to raise our lovely boy who was 13 at the time and he's turned out to be a joy !..
I had a chance meeting in a supermarket with N's mother of whom I knew from many years ago as I used to go out with this person at school ..My 1st ever love u know the 1 u always remember .. ( or yet think u do )..
Anyway she told me hiw his wife had thrown him out after she was having an affair and that he was living with her and was so low in himself ...of cors me being me felt great pity for him and so I invited him over for a drink ...
Well as soon as I opened the door there he stood my 1st love from school and from that day I was hooked !! ..
I instantly fell for his good looks charm and his ever so believable sobstory ..I mean why wouldn't I what did he have to gain from telling such lies ..
So we began to date and things were good at 1st and then I began to see the cracks but of cors stupidly I loved him and excused his somewhat ODD behaviour !! ..
He stated at his mother's so many nights and then mine for so many he had the life of Riley 2 woman running around attending his very needs ..
If something didn't go his way he would go off fir hours and hours on end late at night and have me worried sick as he seemed so low I was concerned for his welfare ..he would switch off his mobile and I would go into panic mode ..
Of course he was fine and lapped up the adoration and attention like a young child ..
We would get into bed at night and he wouldn't come anywhere near me saying his sex drive had diminished and of course I yet again believed him but of cors now I know this was all part n parcel of the whole control thing ..c is I wanted to he deprived me of it until HE decided he was ready !! Very peculiar ..even went for bloodiest to check his testosterone levels I sat there whilst he had them done and of course there was nothing amiss but anyway he asked the doctor to give him a shot of testosterone anyway ..even trying to fool the doctor !!
I mean who in their rite mind does such a thing ..but of course nothing changed that easy cos he decided it wasn't going to !!
Things continued and he moved in with me permanently and we moved house all together ..
And then the nightmare started I remember thinking how very odd it was that he should want his own fridge with his own thing gs in there that no one could touch ..
We have always shared everything my family and I so this was all alien to me ..
I remember being at work 1 day and getting a phone call from him to ask if I'd taken a chocolate bar out of His fridge ..of course I sed no and that my son must have had the munchies ..he wants nuts at this stage and was ranting and raving !! ..
Anyway the following evening my son went to stay with my parents for the night and when he returned home he said there was a game missing from his room ( he's a very tidy child so knows where everything is )..We searched high and low ..no game ..After a week or so my N came home with a new game for him saying he felt bad that he had lost his game ...That's when it clicked ! ..he had taken it through sheer rage because my son had taken his chocolate bar !! Unbelievable I know and I put it to him but of course he never admitted to him ..He wanted to look like the man of the hour returning the game he lost ..I'd bet my life he took it snd stand by that even today ..!
Then started the put downs in front of people even my family and slowly he was being unveiled ..he didn't want to contribute financially to our home it was all me working like a trojan ..Afterall he sed there was 2 of me ie my son and only 1 of him ...I mean how nasty is that !
If I dared to question him on anything he was sulk and give me the silent treatment for days on end until I apologised for something I didn't do ..
Why did I love this man so much I'm a woman with a great deal of intelligence and a very loyal person but of course al this means nothing to these low lives of society. .
Thank god I had the strength to kick him up the arse and send him flying out of our lives for good it hadn't been easy and iv cried buckets but of course he latched he'd on instantly to another ( his 1st wife ) ..anything to have somewhere to lay his head and to pay the bare minimum in life ..
These people are cunning g clever and devious ..
The devil comes in different guises !!

Please avoid and run a mile ..
Leasall ..x

Aug 10, 2014
Getting Past Revenge...
by: Dr Blabby

The best revenge against a narcissist ( you will NEVER beat him at his own game) is to show him/her that you can be very happy WITHOUT THEM and live a really successful life. It KILLS them that you are not fawning over them - paying attention ( good OR bad)... and just generally ignoring them.. Do not show a reaction. That's what they want. Be bored - matter of fact - and just cut them loose from your life. Nobody knows how to push your buttons better than a narcissist. They know every nook and cranny and how to get under your skin VERY fast.

If you eat yourself up over the quest for revenge - who is that hurting?? YOU. He could care less if you are suffering, angry, or miserable. That's what he WANTS. So do the opposite and show him zero. NO REACTION. Eventually - they get bored when they can't get a response ( ANY response is better than nothing to them) and find a new victim.

Be the bigger person. Know this is a disordered person whose brain is not wired like ours. You will never fix him. You will never teach him a lesson. You will never change him. He thinks there's nothing wrong with him! He will always blame YOU. Is this the life you want?

Be happy. Move on. Learn to spot a narcissist and RUN like the wind if those red flags pop up!! If it's all about THEM -- it's nothing about YOU.
Nothing they do is about YOU.. It's what they want/need. Just remember.. And if they can't get it from YOU.. they will move on. We are like furniture. To be used, abused, and discarded. They do not have feelings like a "normal" human being.
Hugs.

Aug 10, 2014
Getting Past Revenge...
by: Dr Blabby

The best revenge against a narcissist ( you will NEVER beat him at his own game) is to show him/her that you can be very happy WITHOUT THEM and live a really successful life. It KILLS them that you are not fawning over them - paying attention ( good OR bad)... and just generally ignoring them.. Do not show a reaction. That's what they want. Be bored - matter of fact - and just cut them loose from your life. Nobody knows how to push your buttons better than a narcissist. They know every nook and cranny and how to get under your skin VERY fast.

If you eat yourself up over the quest for revenge - who is that hurting?? YOU. He could care less if you are suffering, angry, or miserable. That's what he WANTS. So do the opposite and show him zero. NO REACTION. Eventually - they get bored when they can't get a response ( ANY response is better than nothing to them) and find a new victim.

Be the bigger person. Know this is a disordered person whose brain is not wired like ours. You will never fix him. You will never teach him a lesson. You will never change him. He thinks there's nothing wrong with him! He will always blame YOU. Is this the life you want?

Be happy. Move on. Learn to spot a narcissist and RUN like the wind if those red flags pop up!! If it's all about THEM -- it's nothing about YOU.
Nothing they do is about YOU.. It's what they want/need. Just remember.. And if they can't get it from YOU.. they will move on. We are like furniture. To be used, abused, and discarded. They do not have feelings like a "normal" human being.
Hugs.

Aug 10, 2014
I exposed my ex N and he broke into my home
by: ljp

Hi... This site has been a blessing to find. After throwing out my ex in the middle of the nite realizing that he was leading a double life I changed my locks. I have no proof but as punishment he broke into my home and stole some jewelry which had sentimental value. I have experienced extreme rage and acted out with such horrible behavior which I never thought I would capable of. He knew my home alarm code and also made a copy of my garage key. I'm still so very angry after accepting such horrible emotional abuse, disappearing acts, ignoring me, making false promises and only contacts me still when he needs a sexual fix. I refuse to be intimate with him anymore but still have a desire to get back at him for making such a fool of me. He works P/T as a youth ice hockey coach and feel the need to contact his supervisor to inform the director as he also uses the children in the program to seduce their mothers for sex. I'm utterly disgusted my his deplorable behavior. I have some good days but also feel a deep desire to get revenge. I need help to get past all as I sometimes feel I'm doomed and extremely uneasy with these fantasies of hurting him. Please help to lead me in a positive direction.
Thank you...LJP

Aug 08, 2014
You Let Him Back In??
by: Dr. Blabby

Honey,

Don't beat yourself up. We have all done the same thing a hundred times. THEY are the ULTIMATE charmers and know exactly what to say and what you want to hear. Try not to listen to the words. Watch the actions. I have been playing this game with my N for 8 yrs. Once they got you - it's almost impossible to let go. I know what you are going thru.. If you elect to stay with this guy - like I know you will... DISTANCE yourself.. and take care of YOU.. You are not responsible for HIM.. If you can handle this - it's your best mode for survival. If not - you will continue to destroy yourself. It's never about you. It's always about HIM and what he wants/needs. You will always be left on the sidelines wondering when it's your turn. Just know what you've signed up for. Maybe one day.. you will be the strong one - and you will say you deserve better and cut him loose. I'm 65. There may still be time for you. And for God's sake.. if there are children involved?? RUN to the nearest exit! What kind of example does this set for them?? Peace.

Aug 08, 2014
Free me
by: Anonymous

I'm past wanting to get even I just want to be me again.

Mr DPD charmed his way into my life and turned it upside down.

Now, I feel like I've been hit by an articulated truck and my dismembered body is scattered all over the M25


Jul 31, 2014
Mmmmm
by: Anonymous

So you turned into psychobitch yes that's going to help him realise he was in the wrong. It will just reinforce his crappy behaviour in the future. No wonder this world is so crappy.

Jul 28, 2014
Same exact person...
by: Anonymous

This happened to me...when I try and break free he makes me feel bad for him. He says things like "I have no friends like you." He uses my loyalty, love, and caring side to manipulate and deceive me. I've spent the last 4 1/2 years feeling like a secret..using me and my gifts to only share himself with other woman. So very sad.



Jul 20, 2014
Erin - Protect Yourself!
by: Anonymous

Be careful for what you ask for. Do not trust this man just because he cried and begged to come back. Watch what he does. NOT what he says.. Narcissists are very convincing actors and are the best liars in the World. Take care of YOU.
Maybe his behavior will improve, somewhat.. but he will never look out for you. Good luck to you.

Jul 15, 2014
How To Get Even?
by: Anonymous

IGNORE HIM/HER... AND BE HAPPY.

YOU BEING HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL WITHOUT THEM WILL KILL THEM.

Peace.

Jul 15, 2014
Been There. Done That..
by: Anonymous

Yes, I married a narcissist knowing full well who he was. I thought I could handle him being a daughter of a narcissist. My Dad was the worst of the worst --and nobody could ever come close to inflicting the humiliation, anger, and having no voice. I met him 8 yrs ago and have been married for 2-l/2 yrs.

I thought I could outsmart this guy -- Kept my house, finances separate, protect my assets and just throw the dice hoping to have some fun ( He was VERY fun - very energetic - confident - and outgoing.. Very attractive to me).. I am 65 now and thought this would be last chance to experience the life of fun/adventure.

Well.. this guy with the "youthful" attitude translated to irresponsible, unreliable, bold liar, total untrustworthiness, and NO boundaries. He has NO respect for me - my feelings - or my needs.. He turned his entire family against me with his lies so that HE would look like the good guy. Ok, I could live with that.. I had my own family..

Was this a marriage? Nope. It's an arrangement... What's in it for me?? Health benefits right now. I need surgery next month and his comment? "I don't want to be with a cripple".. I was bad for his energetic image.

This fun guy turned into an A**hole to the nth degree. He had his moments of being charming -usually after he pissed me off.. Because I kept my house - I had an escape.. VERY weird arrangement but I'd be gone for a few days - a couple weeks - and then go back. We'd last for 2 days before he'd something insulting/offensive to me.. Accused me of being a thief ( long story and not true)... and said I was crazy... out of control... and THEN I find out he was seeking out old "female friends"... WHY?? WHO KNOWS.. He has a history of cheating - but this is the first time I caught him contacting another female via Facebook. He had never mentioned her - and lied when confronted. So, the cycle is complete. Women, lies, broken promises, more lies, careless spending on HIMSELF, nothing for me.. and I mean.. NOTHING. He ignores birthdays - Xmas ( making sure HIS FAMILY has gifts).. and our Anniversary.. NOTHING. Not even a card.

When I write this, it sounds horrific. But for now this is my life. Sept 2015 I file for divorce and take my life back. IT's been all about him.. what he wants, he needs, toys he has to buy. He is in debt again ( Just filed bankruptcy 2 yrs before we married).. and he gives me ZERO. I support myself -- and I buy him his groceries. We never eat dinner together.
It sounds pathetic, doesn't it?

I am not a stupid woman. I am considered beautiful, intelligent, had a great career ( on social security now) wonderful kids, and I let this guy wipe his feet on me. But I know what he is and I don't feel bad. I feel sorry for him - in that he equates happiness with money... stuff... winning. He has no concept of love.

One last comment I'd like to make.. When I met him on a dating site -- he claimed to be single. Come to find out he'd been in a relationship with a woman l0 yrs who was no in a nursing home. 58 yrs old and suffered an aneurism. He hid her - lied about her - when I found women's clothes in his house. He said she'd moved out. So.. our "relationship" started on a lie.

Why would ours be any different? It Isn't.

Ladies.. Gentlemen... Is this you? Get out.. And for God's sake.. if you have children.. RUN.. Don't let them suffer and watch you take abuse. They will grow up thinking it's ok and then treat THEIR spouses like that. PLEASE DO NOT DO IT.

Peace.

Jul 04, 2014
I won't leave TO PUNISH HIM
by: Anonymous jj

21 years he has destroyed all my relationships, taken everything away from me. Made me look like the hateful, evil person and him the victim. He has put me in dangerous situations with his family, and acted like he didn't know why they didn't talk to me, or what was wrong. Even told his dads Hospice nurses I was hostile against his Ex-wife and adult daughters. And I didn't see any of it coming. Until one day I found letters, notes from his daughters all describing what a horrible person I was and how could he stay with me? HIS ONLY REGRET? That I found all this and he didn't destroy it. Before this I kept asking him "why does your family hate me so much"? Him "I don't know they just hate you" He also told me HIS family was making him chose "ME OR THEM" I was like "WHY"? after 21 years of being married? Him? "I don't know they hate you"!I really believe he thought if he destroyed me enough, got everyone to hate me (which he did)and him being mean, I would leave, divorce him and he could say "see I told you what she was like," Poor me" Well guess what I'm not leaving and I asked him "well who are you choosing"? He said "you of course darling"! "Good answer" so don't call or talk to your family anymore cause you chose me and they should understand RIGHT? He said "Yes Darling" With sarcasm "your the boss" Told him "You got that right" Now go sleep in the other bedroom And now I remind him I'm first and take care of me first! I make him do everything for me now. I have dissolved his relationships, and I spend money that he said we didn't have, check bank accounts, phone calls. I totally make him miserable everyday. How long will it go on? I don't know. But right now I'm madder then hell, And knowing that staying with him and tracking him like a child is making him miserable MAKES ME HAPPY RIGHT NOW! And I tell everyone what he has done to me, our marriage, his children, grandchildren, mine and what a liar he is. HE HATES IT.

Jun 29, 2014
Help
by: Anonymous

Need help on with identifying if I'm deal with a N please help. I feel as if my live is being drain away!!!!

Jun 20, 2014
me too
by: Anonymous

Ive been hurt so many tmes...dont know what to do. Been knowing him for almost 7yrs.. Dated for 5. I couldnt see how an intimate thing could go si bad. He had cheated and got anotherchild..so i left. Since then i disc that there were many others including children during the time we had dated. My son is an infant.when we dated he wud drive me krazy with the extreme mind games.. Mental and physical abuse,...disappearing...jealousy... Anger...and victim mentality.i am still trying to recover. Mind is messed up.

Jun 13, 2014
I need help with my narcissist
by: Veronica

Hi.
I am in the midle of divorce from a Narcissist. He has been cheating on me but denies it to everyone. I found emails or sexting on the ipd. I filed for divorce when I became ill with environemntal sensitivities--I get headaches and burning in my skin and motuh from exposure to many differnet chemicals andfrom wireless radiation--like cell phones and wifi. What this bastar* did was to go around and tell everyone that I was mentally ill and that I wear tin foil hats. He convinced many that this is true. Not any of my friends, famiy, or neighbors who kknow what kind of person he is--but others who matter in my divorce and child custody.
He and his attorney had my attorney convince me to sign n agreement to get a medical and psyc eval to 'prove' I am metnally ill. The jusge let my husband pick both doctors!!! My husband uses the 'crazy card' as a' get-out-of-jail-free card'. He was pushing me around and I called the police--they did nothing because all he has to say is that 'm crazy and they believe him. When child protective services came--they believed him!!! He can convince people of nearly anything and he uses that skill to destroy my reputation and my peace.
Now I am forced to try to 'prove' my sanity to the courts. What have I done you ask? My only horrible deed is that I have to sleep in a caonpy to help me avoid exposures to other peoples wifi and cell phones. That's it!!!! That situation alone has allowed him to parlay it into a full blown custody case.
I am 51 y.o. with no history of mental illness at all. I hve a masters degree in social work but have dedicated myself to caring for my children. However, I am being portrayed as a'erratic' and 'crazy' person. I have done nothing that one would call ettatic or crazy. I have given every second of my life to caring for my three kid. Now I spend my time trying to show that I am not crazy and to be on constant guard gainst the next assault from this guy.
He is living with hes newest true love and comes one day a week to the house. I am forced to stay somewhere else over night. This isn't wasy with my environmental sensitivities. He is free to come or not come. He tries to change days regularly. My attorney tells me I have to grant what he asks. My attorney doens't know the first thing about a narcissist.
Please ladies--do you know of a good attorney in Indiana who can help me in this case. I can't lose custody of my kds becaus ethis guy can lie up a storm. He makes all kinds of accusations that are not even true and has denied being abusive to me and my son. Nobody wants to believe us because he keeps saying tthat I am crazy.
I have done nothing wrong but am getting the heck kicked out of me by my husband using the court as his beating stick. Any help? Any suggestions??

Jun 07, 2014
The years from hell
by: Anonymous

Hi there. Well after reading all your comments I am feeling a little bit better about what I have been through. My issue is that I am a sensitive and an empath. This has to do with my alternate lifestyle. I am funny and loving kind and caring. This guy well I allowed him to ruin my life. As I pick up on other people's emotional state I was convinced that I was the narcissistic one in the relationship. When I was away from him I felt fine happy and content with myself. Any interaction with him and he was able to reduce me to a worthless state. How is it possible that one human being can have such control? Anyways I can relate to many of the comments here and the best piece of advice I have received about this truly awful experience is just GO BE AWSOME cause we all are and we deserve to be loved and respected everyday. I have had the missed birthdays MIA on the weekend and just can't take it anymore. This guy has a way to turn me into a stark raving lunatic and someone I dont know and don't like very much. I will not allow my power to be drained from me ever again. Love light and blessings to you all


Jun 07, 2014
The years from hell
by: Anonymous

Hi there. Well after reading all your comments I am feeling a little bit better about what I have been through. My issue is that I am a sensitive and an empath. This has to do with my alternate lifestyle. I am funny and loving kind and caring. This guy well I allowed him to ruin my life. As I pick up on other people's emotional state I was convinced that I was the narcissistic one in the relationship. When I was away from him I felt fine happy and content with myself. Any interaction with him and he was able to reduce me to a worthless state. How is it possible that one human being can have such control? Anyways I can relate to many of the comments here and the best piece of advice I have received about this truly awful experience is just GO BE AWSOME cause we all are and we deserve to be loved and respected everyday. I have had the missed birthdays MIA on the weekend and just can't take it anymore. This guy has a way to turn me into a stark raving lunatic and someone I dont know and don't like very much. I will not allow my power to be drained from me ever again. Love light and blessings to you all


Jun 01, 2014
Toxic Love
by: Anonymous

I met him and was drawn to his quiet, very polite and charming. OMG I was so taken in by this other personality. He told me rather quickly how I was the one he had been waiting for and proposed after only 3 months. What he didn't tell me was that he was still married and in the process of getting divorced. He lied from the start -was seeing several other women at the time, would disappear for a day or night with no explanation, glued to his phone all the time and if ever questioned he became indignant. He was jealous of all my friends but especially of my kids. My friends became concerned and saw the warning signs - I made excuses at first. He always made grand promises he could not keep , he was always the victim, he had no friends and his family was very dysfunctional. I got a phone call from one of the girls he had been seeing, then I talked to another one and all our stories are similar. He has so little self esteem and ego that he has had all these women to make him feel like the man he thinks he is. When I finally got the nerve to leave he begged me not to break us - he again was the victim. I felt lost broken and like an idiot. My life now is wonderful - he continues to try an contact me and I just block the number. No communication bothers a narcissist! I have my life back and God bless whoever his next victim!

May 23, 2014
lost
by: Anonymous

oh my gosh. I just had a relationship with a person like this but I didnt introduce him to my kids. I am a mess now. He made me hate myself. He called me all kinds of names and would tell me I was dirt between his toes and then blame me for how he spoke to me. Before him I was a winner and now feel like such a pathetic piece of junk. I felt like ending it all because I was so worthless. I feel like the damage can not be reversed. I am a lost person.

Apr 22, 2014
3 Years & NO MORE
by: Anonymous

I have just left my husband of 3 years, we were together for about 9.I am an intelligent woman mid 50's and suddenly saw the light, 6 months ago, and decided to plan my escape.He always put me down and everything was my fault 100%, i could do nothing right, he hated my family and friends and isolated me and took complete control of the finances to the extent of handing me £20 in the bank for ? pocket money.He would ROAR and shout at me constantly, i had no friends where i lived and no job and no car.I remember talking to a friend when he was out and saying to her "i think he is twisting things" all she said was "Hallelujah" from then on i knew i had to leave.I was dyeing inside from being away from family and friends, and being manipulated by him.He has been told recently he is Narcisstic, but will not beleave.He eventually started to turn violent, and bruising my body, so a friend paid my fare and helped me escape.I got a job and have a safe place to live and i can see my friends family when i like. Get out now all of you, who know this is happening to them, even if you suspect he is this character type, i know i should of got out sooner, but love got in the way, and a narrcissist.

Apr 14, 2014
Narcissist is too hard to spell
by: Anonymous

Good post. Using 4 instead of for is a little bit annoying. Anyways, the damn narcissist bastards don't know they're douches, so telling them that gives them victim mentality, what you have to do is just simply cut them off. Don't talk to them, don't argue with them, just don't encourage them.

Apr 14, 2014
Narcissist is too hard to spell
by: Anonymous

Good post. Using 4 instead of for is a little bit annoying. Anyways, the damn narcissist bastards don't know they're douches, so telling them that gives them victim mentality, what you have to do is just simply cut them off. Don't talk to them, don't argue with them, just don't encourage them.

Mar 10, 2014
Hey Ellie! Sorry you went through that, & everyone else, too.
by: Angie

Mine is an inlaw. This POS kept (piece of s#it) kept it pretty well hidden until this year. Then I could out he was a narcissist undiagnosed. Fits every bit of the criteria with overlapping psychopath tendencies and OCD.

This b#stard is ruthless. As you know, no compassion, a gee-dee liar, you name it. But he tries to act like he's the best and most worthwhile man in the universe.

He's in his 50s and living alone, and is the most selfish thing in this world. A liar, a gossip, a true user and abuser of anyone trusting enough to try to be nice to him.

I wish this POS nothing but the worst. I have always tried to be a decent human being, and never in my life have I felt the hatred and loathing I feel for this abuser. He's trash and garbage. The most arrogant, haughty, lying thing you could ever imagine. I truly do hate that person.

Feb 23, 2014
it will never change
by: Anonymous

I have been with one for 16 years I am told everyday I am worthless stupid and a whore he has almost killed me twice put cigarettes out on me try to sleep with my friends in my face and tell me its none of my business how many women he talks to and I should know my place sometimes I feel like I dont want to live anymore I cry everyday I tried to leave him and lost my job my home I went back and its worse I hope that young girls read this and get out of their situation it doesn't get any better

Jan 12, 2014
I know what you went through
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I didn't know what a was dealing with until 3 yrs later. He file false protective order to keep me from finding out the other women, and then come back to apologize, and only to threaten me again after I realize this bastard must be crazy. It hurts and i'm reading on this matter to help me cope, but my eyes are open wide. This man did so much evil that I said this is not normal, I mean I have dealt with creeps in my life, but this was different and coming from a monster.

Jan 12, 2014
Child abuse by design
by: Anonymous

To remind all those with morals and to all those who love all children, that this David J. Glass Esq. PhD would giggle & laugh at me while waiting to see the judge. Shortly after this attached letter dated 2-12-2012 was received by the community of Malibu, CA this David J. Glass Esq. PhD conspired to injure a 3rd party (myself) , suborned perjury and falsified evidence just before he closed down his practice and went to FMBK Law.The CA State Bar has just received a 2nd complaint regarding this matter.


Jan 04, 2014
wow, i'm learning
by: Anonymous

thanks you for all the comments.it was very helpful.i'm coming out of two and a half yrs of this type of relationship and i'm thankful to god, to my pastors, to my family etc for their help. i have a eight months old son with him. the law court is dealing with that because i get no support, from conception to now, from him. emotionally, i am picking up the pieces and adhering to my pastors' advice,ignore him,leave him alone.

Dec 28, 2013
PLEASE PLEASE HOW DO I LEAVE !! Feeling insane
by: Robin

OMG I am so so happy to find this page and wow !!!!! My sanity is seriously at a end , I'm torn between suicide ( becuz I cannot take the rage which is never ending while he's being a drama queen I Invision blowing my brains out ). JK We all know he'd just get angry and yell at my dead body that I did not even do that right !!! We have been together 20 years ... about 5 years. ago he decided that it was my turn to support him and quit his job !!! I've been through so much and I cannot. Take it anymore!! But I can't leave. , he tellse to leave but when I try to leave he grabs my phone gonna destroy it then Every Time strangles me most times till I pass out then screams at me to apologize for making him do it !!!

Nov 06, 2013
What happened
by: Anonymous

I have not been in contact with the man I thought was my soulmate. He left me after me getting out off a terrible financial situation . Owes me a fortune , which I try very hard every day to rise above . It's been 3 months . He changed his number as my anger got the better off me and I made a complete fool off myself . He had moved on to another girl probably months before I knew . I contacted her hurt and frustrated . Only to be told she had heard all about me and I needed to let go . That I had serious issues and possibly OCD !!! This resulted in me texting up to 30 texts off anger in one day distraught . They got me arrested . I'm 41 a good mum with a good life and amazing friends thank god !!!! Iv received counselling for my self esteem. He came back to my door to tell me he loved me had no feelings for this other girl . I almost let him back in !!! To be told he d never left her by a friend and is still with her . I fight every day not to go and have my closure as it would only be twisted and most likely only hurt me . I'm working on being content and happy to be out off the blackest time off my life . Thank you for all your blogs they keep me sane and most importantly keep me from contacting him

Oct 21, 2013
To Thought I was going crazy
by: Trying to get out

My God! I just got out from a relationship with a narcissist and I see everything in here. The mental games, the disappearing acts; the money issues and the birthdays! My narcissist "fell in love with me immediately and specially after discovering I was an attorney. Everything was fine at the beginning and then he started to get mad whenever we didn't do his will or I asked him to do something I wanted. Then started the lies; the disappearing acts; the blaming me for everything; the making me keep swallow how I felt because otherwise it was going to be a world war. My birthday came up and he didn't show up. He came up with an excuse about him going thru a financial problem and ge felt worthless, like he couldn't give me anything. Then he made me feel sorry for him. I waited sone time and it was always the same; how he was going thru so much that he couldn't give me what I deserve and that he needed time to get back on his feet. However outside of the relationship he seemed fine. I try to be understanding and supportive until I couldn't take it anymore. When I tried to break up with him he wouldn't let me. He would call and let the phone ring once or twice so I would have to call him. Then when I called him he wouldn't return my call. He was, is driving me crazy and even though I try to break it I always end up feeling sorry for him because he's sick. It's so disturbing that I think they get inside you to control you. On one hand I want to run away but then I feel it's my duty as a christian to love him and not abandon him. I don't know what to do.

Oct 08, 2013
Sounds like me
by: Anonymous

Wow sounds familar my youngest son was also the trigger and I also beat him one night, not very proud of myself. The best thing I did for revenge was to not have any contact, my friends eventually worked him out and some of his also. That is his weakness being alone, since we live in a small area he will be very lonley as most don't want anything more to do with him. It is still hard at times as I find it hard to trust but will improve where he won't :)

Sep 21, 2013
Thought I was going crazy...
by: Anonymous

I just pulled the plug! I knew this guy for about 5 yrs. The 1st 6-8 mo were ok, except for the flying red flags. I saw them and made mental note. He set the premise as we dated, then wanted to be exclusive. I went along cautiously. His behavior changed. Out of the blue he wanted space. We all know what that means. He got his space. Then the lies and excuses followed. He drank to medicate not socialize, every night. Out of no where, for no reason, he'd fly into a outburst of rage, clinched fists, veins in his neck, jumping up and down, screaming accusations and blame. The mental shock alone took days to recover. At first I thought it was my fault. The outburst became more frequent and verbally abusive. A year and a half later, he was becoming meaner, a bully. I called it off several times. Then I'd get the nice phone call, as if nothing happened. I started keeping notes and soon enough, I knew it wasn't me. I started keeping my distance to start my disconnection process. Then I heard about narcisstic passive aggressive behavior. My ex would be considered a extreme pathological narcisstic pass. aggressive. He'd assume and twist something he misunderstood and play victim, blaming others, degrading, name calling, no filter, no bounderies, constant complaining and whining. I last saw him last June. Within 2 weeks He took the time to email me accusing me of the same crap he made up years ago. I'm glad I waited to read it because I would have been in his face with guns ablazin. Instead, I decided to put it aside and reply later. I replied advising him that his behavior was not acceptable for a middle aged man, he should step up and own his actions. 5 years and never did he ever acknowledge my birthday, Christmas, holidays. Everytime I called him out on something, the angrier he got. On 2 occasions, he turned and literally ran out the door and took off to avoid confrontation. I wasn't playing the game anymore.
I've never been put through such a emotional and mental rollercoaster ride. I've been through the worst part, now it can only get better one day at a time.
Hang in there ladies.

Mar 04, 2013
he talks about me everywhere
by: Anonymous

Ive been in a relationship with him 4 3 yrs and we havw a 1 yr old son . I figured out who he was after reading about these ppl . I started having friends and im friends with his friend who took us in with our baby when we had no place to stay . He moved out 9 months after i moved . He fought with this guy before leaving . I use to tell this guy about him but he dnt beleave me till he did the same things to him . He refuses to buy milk 4 his baby and his friend helps me to support his baby. He told me that he will never support his baby since its not his and when i was pregnent he even told me he wishes the baby can die when we had a fight after asking him 4 money to buy matenity wear . Lately he called one of my woman friends telling her that im sleeping with his friend and that i left him 4 his friend coz he has no money and his friend has money .he claims to be a christian and we go to the same church and at church he passes our son like he does not know him . He even accused my woman friend of knowing that im sleeping with his friend and she is keeping the truth from her on purpose

Feb 22, 2013
Thank you
by: Anonymous

I am so pleased to read all these comments and stories about woman experiencing the same relationship. I am 27 and have two sons. I was with my ex N for two years. I to hav experienced them using my sons as bait to get at me. Mine used mental mind games to get my children to panic by saying he was leaving them so they would beg him to stay. I found out time and time again about all the other woman he had but I kept goin back. Then all of a sudden I knew there was something wrong with him so I started lookin up disorders. He kept telling me I was the one that was crazy and would throw me against the wall and strangle me. He told me if I left he would get my sons taken off me. I again took him bac an stayed. Then things got really bad, he devalued me yet when I kept asking what was wrong and what I had done he just kept saying it was my fault he wasn't Loving because I was sl paranoid. I found out and found msges and pictures of other woman in he's phone and he told me I need to get over it do we can get passed it. Again after dancing back an fourth breaking up an gettin bac together id had enough. He was destroying my sons an myself. My hair fell out, I lost 10 kilos and was on pills for anxiety. I exposed him to everyone and he moved towns. He still is contacting me tryin to get me to move with him so we can try again. It's the most exhausting thing mentally Iv ever experienced. I'm now so scared of meeting anyone like him Iv shut ppl out. My sons still cry for him n ask where he's gone. All I can say is my heart really goes out to anyone who has been a victim of these ppl cos u truly dont understand till you've been threw it. They never go away and they never leave u alone. It's torture.

Feb 22, 2013
Thank you
by: Anonymous

I am so pleased to read all these comments and stories about woman experiencing the same relationship. I am 27 and have two sons. I was with my ex N for two years. I to hav experienced them using my sons as bait to get at me. Mine used mental mind games to get my children to panic by saying he was leaving them so they would beg him to stay. I found out time and time again about all the other woman he had but I kept goin back. Then all of a sudden I knew there was something wrong with him so I started lookin up disorders. He kept telling me I was the one that was crazy and would throw me against the wall and strangle me. He told me if I left he would get my sons taken off me. I again took him bac an stayed. Then things got really bad, he devalued me yet when I kept asking what was wrong and what I had done he just kept saying it was my fault he wasn't Loving because I was sl paranoid. I found out and found msges and pictures of other woman in he's phone and he told me I need to get over it do we can get passed it. Again after dancing back an fourth breaking up an gettin bac together id had enough. He was destroying my sons an myself. My hair fell out, I lost 10 kilos and was on pills for anxiety. I exposed him to everyone and he moved towns. He still is contacting me tryin to get me to move with him so we can try again. It's the most exhausting thing mentally Iv ever experienced. I'm now so scared of meeting anyone like him Iv shut ppl out. My sons still cry for him n ask where he's gone. All I can say is my heart really goes out to anyone who has been a victim of these ppl cos u truly dont understand till you've been threw it. They never go away and they never leave u alone. It's torture.

Feb 03, 2013
wow
by: ellie

hello ladies this is a blast from the past,and i love the strength you are showing by sharing your stories.i remmember well what its like being at the mercy of these cruel men.but i want you,s to no once you get rid of them completely and it is very hard,and i woudnt bother even getting in touch or speaking to people that no him it just brings painful memories to the surface and halts your recovery.and believe me you will recover.i still cant believe how i got through those dark days,and so will you.6 months after i left 4 good i was a drunken mess,but i educated myself on personality disorders and slowly picked myself up.you are normal there not,always remember that.once you,ve been away from them 4 a while your mind returns to normal,and your peace of mind.i am very happy to say i met a wonderful man last year who loves and adores me and my sons,i gave him a dogs life the first 6 months because i didnt believe a thing he said and thats the damage narrcissists leave behind but good people repair that.and there are a lot of good people out there.all my love to you ladies you are strong enough to get through this and if i can help any of you in any way or answer any questions please just ask.good luck.xxxxxxxx

Jan 23, 2013
Thanks Elie for sharing!! kudos to you!!
by: Anonymous

Wow!!! Kudos to have the guts to write abput this n encourage spo many to do so. The narcisist I'm dealing with sounds like this one! We were going out n when my mom had cancer told him I needed a break for a bit. In less than a month he got engaged to somebody else. He would occasionally call me n even had the audacity to try to borrow money from me to buy his new girlfriend a ring. The new girlfriend by the way is a raging alcoholic whom he keeps boozed up. She's a total bully, flirts with other guys in front of him n has him pay for her bills. This guy never took me anywhere other than McD's to eat. He even has me over n then says he's had plans n leaves. He's great at bullshiting n plays victim as to always helping out everybody n borrowing money. He's a total cheap ass n always whines about not having cash. As far as sex...he gives acct by acct of what he wants done n has an obsession with being pissed on n peeing. He's addicted to adderall n claims to get depressed. Yes, the story sounds very familiar. He does have serious self esteem issues n whines a lot!! Luckily for me....I found this out now not later. He also claims that the ex girlfriend stalks him or tries to make him jealous!! Now what I suspect was trying to get me to come over during the week instead of the weekend so he can keep it free. Now I'm on to him n will vow to get even with him. I'm done with him now!! No girl should ever have to deal with a man who is dishonest n incapable of loving. On behalf of women everywhere I will let him feel the sting pof messing with the wrong girl!! I've already become friends with some of his closest friends who have told me that he's a womanizer n not to ever lend him money!! These guys are control freaks n the best way to get even is to take control away from them!! The tables are turning on this asshole very very soon!! We are all beautiful women inside n out. How dare these type of men try to have us question our self esteem n who we are! I promise to post the aftermath of everything on here as well. Oh and I like Elie have kids as well. He even asked if I would move closer to him so he wouldn't have to drive so far!! Not happening!! Won't have his drama at my doorstep anymore!! He definitely messed with the wrong girl this time!! No doubt about that!!

Oct 03, 2012
went out with one
by: Anonymous

thank you so much for your story - I ignore him without giving any attitute and it makes him so upset. I got tired of being treated like a toy, he would be nice to me when he wanted to be and then pushed me to the side of the curb like an old appliance. He inturned friended my friends on FB and all they see is a nice guy and he makes me look like I am obsessed with him and stalkerish...which I am not. I am hurt and was confused about what the heck was going on with our relationship when all I did was love him. urg I was so frustrated....but now I know it wasn't me and he wasn't normal. hugs

Oct 29, 2010
Unmasking
by: Aunt Bee

Ellie

You discovered Point Number One:

These people get very touchy indeed when someone has the audacity to notice the imperfections and to actually COMMENT on them.

Their biggest fear is being unmasked, and being seen for who they really are - and they will make you pay for it.

Of course, their second biggest fear is when they realize they've met their match.


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