My Evil Twin Sister

My twin is a malignant narcissist. I really only understood she was truly evil a few short years ago. I am in my 40s.

My 'relationship' with her has been agonizing, to say the least. There are far too many stories to tell. This is just 1 of a thousand.

I had been in a violent crime with my friend in my early 20s.

A gun was held to my head and my friend was shot in the face. Luckily, she did survive! I was staying with my mom at that time as I was having a very hard time dealing with any of it. I had nightmares, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, afraid to be by myself, etc.

I heard my mom on the phone calling my sister to calmly tell her the incident. She was living on the east coast at the time. I could actually hear my sister screaming on the other end of the line. What was that about?

My mom told her everything was fine, but my sister insisted she was flying out at once. My sister has always been abusive to me but I thought that this was a very good sign. She obviously felt bad as she was hysterical over the phone. She offered to drive me to the hospital to visit my friend who was there for weeks.

So my sister was supposed to fly in an afternoon. We waited and waited. Not until very late in the night, did she show up. She waltzed through the door with a burst of 'Hello, I'm here!' giggling and smiling.

It was if nothing had happened and she was just visiting and we were supposed to be happy. She never hugged me or said anything. Just smiled and laughed. For no reason. She then proceeded to change clothes, and head out again.

She didn't come home until the morning. Then she slept in the next day, got up, went out again. She always gave me a big goodbye sendoff and promised to spend time with me.

She came back late the next night and was heading out once again, but my mom stopped her to ask her why she would say she wanted to come out for me to just turn around and spend all her time with her friends and that I really needed her support.

My sister's crying/screaming response:

'WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT (name deleted)?!'

My mom gave her a choice: if she was turning this into a social event with her friends then she could find another place to stay. My sister left the house.

She never said a word to me when she left. We never discussed what happened the night with my friend. All I heard randomly through the years was "When I came to visit, my mom kicked me out of the house."

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Jul 22, 2015
Sounds just like my twin sister.
by: Anonymous

I found this by googling "My twin sister is a narcissist".. I'm in my late twenties and she has made my life a living hell since we were kids. Everything pisses her off, she only talks to me when she needs something from me. Usually she just wants me to babysit and when I do her child is ALWAYS sick. I have a smaller child that gets sick every time she brings him over. I love him to pieces but that gets so aggravating. She mocks everything I say and makes rude comments about every detail of my life from my husband, to my child, my job, my friends, in laws, just every detail. I'm expected to keep my mouth shut and If I say say anything, she is sure to blow it out of proportion and tell everyone what an awful person I am. Meanwhile I don't do that to her. I grew up so depressed and had 0 self esteem. She's always treated me like I was nothing and it made me feel that way. She still has a way of controlling me and making like crap. Ugh.

May 13, 2015
My evil twin sister
by: Anonymous

My twin never got married and never had children ., we have a business together since 1982.. When I got married and had a child , she became really evil and jealous .. I Had to leave work to take care of my son in college ( FL) who scattered his leg and was in a wheel chair., Came back to work after 7 months.. I never took a pay check and made sure she kept all the income..
When I came back to work she freaked out on me , said she was glad I wasn't around and never wanted me to come back to work . I've only been kind and nice to her., she was always very violate and extremely nasty . The girls at work are afraid of her and her behavior ..
She tells everyone that she is the younger twin when in fact she is 28 min older then I am., she go out with a lot of men and tells people she is me ..
. She wants me distroyed .. My husband and son are afraid of her .. I might have to leave work forever !!

May 13, 2015
My evil twin sister
by: Anonymous

My twin never got married and never had children ., we have a business together since 1982.. When I got married and had a child , she became really evil and jealous .. I Had to leave work to take care of my son in college ( FL) who scattered his leg and was in a wheel chair., Came back to work after 7 months.. I never took a pay check and made sure she kept all the income..
When I came back to work she freaked out on me , said she was glad I wasn't around and never wanted me to come back to work . I've only been kind and nice to her., she was always very violate and extremely nasty . The girls at work are afraid of her and her behavior ..
She tells everyone that she is the younger twin when in fact she is 28 min older then I am., she go out with a lot of men and tells people she is me ..
. She wants me distroyed .. My husband and son are afraid of her .. I might have to leave work forever !!

May 11, 2012
abandoned
by: Anonymous

I am 50 and my family has has little if hardly anythingto do w/me for my whole adult life. I knew the girls (sisterz) and my twin where lying about me. When my grandpa died it all came out. The family siad they had been believeing my twins lies and that they were sorry. They didn't want to loose any more time w/ me.

The situation has not ever changed.

I have made my friends my family, but it still hurts.

Apr 27, 2012
I REFUSE TO PLAY VICTIM!
by: Anonymous

I believe now I was born into a family of 3 narcissists and 1 victim. From an EARLY age it was clear, power was the main component in most of my relationships with my family members. I'm not a weak person, don't get me wrong, but these were obsurd requirements and neglect. My father had custody because my mother was unfit. He relingquished it because "his career was more important". Of coarse he makes it sound VERY believeable. So when my mother began hanging out at the bars until 2am, sleeping until 2pm and gone when I got home from school. She was dating married men or men much younger than her while her husband was in Viet Nam I was disgusted. Most times I would have to get visably angry just to get her to go to the grocery store. I had by this time one older step sister and another younger one. A friends mother was a social worker and I asked her to come over, this had gone on long enough. I agreed to go into foster care and my mother signed the papers. WHAT MOTHER DOES THAT? Not a good one, I assure you. My older step sister turned into the master manipulator as an adult my younger, the victim. Fast forward three decades, my older sister got a Power of Attorney and went through every single thing my mother owned (rented 1 bedroom apt, so not much) and left the discards for me and my youger sister when my mother passed. This same monster was stealing from her current husband and rationalized it with "what if he's cheating on me" and borrowing money from my mother (earning $600 a month on SSI and Disabilty)I borrowed money from my church and made up most of the cost of the funeral. This ingrate tells everyone I paid nothing (including MY father, not her's) and that she has always looked out for me. WHAT? HUH? I have been on my own since I went into foster care. Now that my father is retired, he's moved to be on her property in a trailor. He's in his 70's now and is not interested in seeing me or me visiting him. The Narcissist truely weaves an unbelievable web. I should just say they deserve each other and be done with it. But the injustice is so shocking to me in their behavior my jaw is left agape.

Apr 27, 2012
Reading this gives me strength.
by: Anonymous

My sister has complete control over my mothers house, income and life while she is in a nursing home. Finding out that she had lied to me about financial issues put me in the position of backing down and not confronting just as I usually do, or confronting. I only got a half a sentence out and the screaming started. Then she ran to my. Other to tell her how bad I am and how I am just after her money. Then the abusive emails. When a friend told me that she sounds like a malignant narcissist, I looked it up and saw the fit. Now I will turn to a lawyer to try to protect my mother, but at the end of the day my mother will probably cave and say that she told her she could spend all of her money. It is the end of not one relationship but many, I'm loosing my mother and family, and there is no reaching them as they are in a other country. Once I am over this pain, I think my life can change for the better.and hope

Apr 27, 2012
Reading this gives me strength.
by: Anonymous

My sister has complete control over my mothers house, income and life while she is in a nursing home. Finding out that she had lied to me about financial issues put me in the position of backing down and not confronting just as I usually do, or confronting. I only got a half a sentence out and the screaming started. Then she ran to my. Other to tell her how bad I am and how I am just after her money. Then the abusive emails. When a friend told me that she sounds like a malignant narcissist, I looked it up and saw the fit. Now I will turn to a lawyer to try to protect my mother, but at the end of the day my mother will probably cave and say that she told her she could spend all of her money. It is the end of not one relationship but many, I'm loosing my mother and family, and there is no reaching them as they are in a other country. Once I am over this pain, I think my life can change for the better.and hope

Jan 16, 2012
just like sisters...hah
by: Anonymous

I always felt cheated by life not giving me a sister. I always thought that the lucky ones had something I would never have. Someone who always had their back and would never let them down.
When I met my friend our relationship quickly evolved into a inseparable bond. She would make every date she had into some grand adventure and spend hours telling me how she did not like him but that she was still going to go out with him. He called her at all hours of the night and she would complain that he did not allow her to sleep. She would tell me that she did not think she loved him and how unattractive she found him. After having been married all my adult life, raising three kids and never having any money, I bought into her exciting life hook line and sinker. We would talk about aspects of what was going on in her life 24/7 but I never stopped to notice that my attempts to relate anyhting regarding my life were met with one word comments or non interest and the subject would immedialtely revert back to her. I did not recognize it for what it was until I learned to draw. As my talent grew and all the sudden I had a life to talk about she kicked my ass to the curb.
She would reel me in by saying things like, "Your are not my friend, you are family". Like the sister I never had. Now in hindsight I learned that reason I needed to be a sister was because her own had long since grown tired of listening to her talk about herself. They had washed their hands off a girl that made no sense. She would treat me great in public as long as I understood that I had to go along with her rendition of the stories she would choose. It was like we had scripted parts and I knew just what to say next because that is how she had me trained.
Little did I know that to be considered a member of her "family" was her ticket to treat me anyway she saw fit and it was never in my best interest. I began to see that it was just a loop doomed to repeat itself until she learned the lessons she was supposed to learn (which she never did)and once recognized it became impossible to reconcile the colossal waste of time I spent trying to "help" her so I could ignore my own life and not address any issues that might be considered real life.
My "sister and I have parted ways. She has moved onto greener pastures. Once I failed to give my life to her she pronounced me guilty of being just like her sisters. I know that, that was not a compliment.

Oct 20, 2011
Difficult Sister
by: Marilyn

To Difficult Sister I could have wrote this. I guess we all could. All of our family say the same thing after we speak to the "princess": "Well at least she didn't scream at me." It's taken me years to realize HELLO! Like I'm supposed to feel relieved that she didn't rage this time? Just like you said having to condition ourselves and change who we are to fit around this monster.

But what really makes me angry, and it's just what you said, trying to move on and they won't let you! I'm angry just typing this. I have severed all ties with my twin but she tries everything. Bad mouthing me, telling relatives that I don't care for them and have always talked bad about them (not true!). She is being investigated for child abuse. She called me to ask if I had turned her in (I hadn't). When I told her no, she started talking to me like nothing had ever happened. I told her she was a mess and to stop contacting me. So like always when there is trauma in her life, and even though we won't have spoken for a couple years, she will call me. Always trying to bridge the gap. Well it didn't work this time. She also was cheating on her husband with some married cop. After she was done with him she had him get in contact with me via facebook and he was to ask me out but he was told not to say that he knew her. I figured it out before anything happened. But I get it...if you can't get to me you'll enlist the help of someone else. PATHETIC. COWARD. EVIL.

There's just not enough room on this earth for these monsters.

Oct 19, 2011
DIFFICULT SISTER
by: Anonymous

Unfortunately your experience is all too familiar. I come from a large family and several of the siblings have mental/emotional disorders to some degree but one of them in particular sounds like your "evil twin". Her behaviours are absolutely bizarre, to say the least, but the sad truth is that we younger siblings have been conditioned over many years to normalise her actions; in fact, we are too scared to challenge her in any way because the fallout of her wrath is too frightening. Recently, however, some of us (who are in our 40s - not so young anymore!)have started to mildly challenge her. I took her to task (in the meekest way imaginable) over an attack she made on my lovely, mild-mannered husband which was right out of the blue and completely shocking. As a result of challenging her over this she has launched the most unbelievable campaign of revenge upon me, coming up with schemes I could never have even thought possible. She blackens my name to anyone who will listen and hatches elaborate schemes (such as free overseas trips and expensive gifts etc) to reward other, more compliant family members but which deliberately shut me and my family out. But what really frustrates me is that even though I am prepared to just move on and live my life without having much to do with her she is determined to hang on -she is the one who won't let go!

Jul 13, 2011
Siblings
by: Marilyn

Thanks for your responses.

Not Alone...do you speak with your sister at all? Of course for her to make light of something like that is so typical. Especially when you told her it hurt you. No one on the outside can really understand that.

I stopped all contact with mine 4 years ago but that hasn't stopped her from trying to bust in again. In fact, one guy she had an affair with and it ended(she was still married) he was told to contact me as I was his type and ask me out. He contacted me on FB. She told him not to tell him he knew her though. Luckily I found out before I went out with him. When I confronted her just recently about this her only response was he's "dangerous.' I am single with two small children. Lovely. I wish so badly I could put all these types in a small room together for the rest of their lives. My hatred runs deep.

Jul 07, 2011
Not Alone
by: Anonymous

Wow, I understand your pain because this is they same type of sister I have. Just to give you an example...my fiancee has severe asthma and I told my sister this and she knew I was encouraging him to go to a very good clinic to get an evaluation. In any event, one evening we were on the phone and she said, How is " blank " doing? I said better and she replied "Well, at least he is not dead yet". My fiance is a lot older than me an I know my sister cannot stand that, so I think she just likes to be nasty because she does not approve. But to make it complicated, after she said such an awful comment, she would say "Oh, don't take me the wrong way. I don't mean it literally like that. Did you ever see Monte Pithon and the Holy Grail where the guy has no arm and legs and hops on the table and says with an accent 'Well, at least I'm not dead yet".

Ok, I thought, well she is trying to make me laugh. But not funny. No, not funny to me. To me this is meant to make me made (Narcissistic Suppy). But I have learned the hard way, not to be mad anymore. Dear Good Twin, you are not alone and neigher am I. Thank you for your story, it helps me realize I am not alone.

Jun 20, 2011
Amazement
by: Anonymous

I'm absolutely amazed at the total selfishness of this person.

I know someone who has these same "ME" tendencies. It becomes virtually sickening to be around them. The saddest part is that I didn't really pick-up on it at first. It really took a while before I could put my thumb on what (or where) the problem truly was.

I hope for your children's sakes, you keep their aunt far away from them. They surely don't need to 'learn' any of her bad habits...or worse yet, try to emulate her.

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