WHAT IS NARCISSISM:
This is a very brief article touching on narcissistic abuse. It can be very subtle and hard to prove, but sometimes your narcissist does lose control and exposes himself.
We’ve discussed narcissistic injury as it pertains to the narcissist’s perception; now we’ll discuss a little more of the rage that produces narcissistic abuse following said injury.
The descriptions above of the payments extracted for narcissistic injury are some examples of narcissistic rage, but they are cold and calculated reactions.
Narcissistic rage can be either passive aggressive or white-hot.
The type of narcissistic rage we will discuss generally looks just like it sounds: uncontrolled anger and fury.
This can include physical abuse, but just because your narcissist doesn’t hit you, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t suffering from narcissistic abuse.
Aside from physically hurting you, including destroying your personal items (particularly those items that are important to you – and your narcissist knows which ones they are), one of the narcissist’s biggest weapon is his mouth.
They may go off on a screaming rant (usually with no or few witnesses), either in person, on the phone or even in email.
If in an email, they’ll leave no doubt that they are, in fact screaming. You’ll know it when you see it.
In person or in mail, the screams most likely would include furious statements such as:
- ‘You expect me to be perfect!’
- ‘I’m always wrong! Of course I’m always wrong!’
- ‘I can’t do anything right!’
- ‘Who do you think you are?!’
- ‘I know you think I’m stupid, but’
- ‘I give and I give and I give’
- ‘You have a heart full of hate!’
- ‘A heart made of stone!’
- ‘Are you going to lie about this too?!’
- ‘I carried this company!’
- ‘You’ll be sorry!’
- ‘There’s no hope for you!’
- ‘You’re doomed!’
Sarcasm, insults, viciousness and hate as well as twisting of any ‘facts’ that may be stated during the outburst are to be expected from malignant narcissism.
Malignant narcissism needs – above all else – control.
The narcissist must have control of what you think of him, and if he discerns that he’s losing or has lost control of that, the level of his desperation will be consistent with the level of narcissistic abuse: he will slander you, hurl false accusations at you, attempt to confuse you, and if all else fails, he will find another way to make you pay for this narcissistic injury.
Understand: if your narcissist washes his hands of you, cutting you out of his life – he’s saved his best weapon for last.
Or so he thinks.
This is another attempt at control and manipulation. Because, the narcissist reasons, you won’t be able to live without his ‘sweet presence’ in your life for very long.
And when you come crawling back – as he’s sure you will - begging for forgiveness for noticing his narcissistic behavior, make no mistake: you will be made to lick his boots.
But he will allow you back into the fold, because your narcissist believes he is truly the most magnanimous, suffering, put-upon but still forgiving individual that he knows.
He is too good for this world.
Which leads us to what you are:
back to narcissistic injury
back to Narcissistic Personality Disorder from narcissistic abuse
back to Jezebel Spirit intro