Narcissistic double standards, rules don't apply to him
I've been in a relationship with an "N" for over four years, prior to that 20 years with an ex-husband.
I didn't know what it was until after I was already snared with the most recent one.
This man can spend the night or weekend with another woman and I'm supposed to accept it because "he knew her before me" and "he just drank too much", or "she just showed up, I didn't know she was coming..." but I have lunch with a male, especially an old boyfriend who came to town briefly, and I'm the most insidious being that's ever lived and he makes me pay dearly emotionally.
He admitted it might be a double standard, but it didn't matter. He was enraged and has shut me out of his life.
Over the years he has lied, cheated, promised to take me to a concert and then took another woman instead of me, has done the most hurtful, back-stabbing, underhanded things to me, but I do the slightest attack to his ego and I pay dearly.
I became very depressed, felt lost, wished I hadn't had lunch with the other guy, but then realize I had every right to have lunch with him! It was lunch for heaven's sake, that's all it was. It wasn't anything more than that but he made it into a sinister plot against him.
I've tried to end it with him 50 times I bet in the last two and a half years. I've blocked his number, I moved to a different location, I've nicely and meanly told him to leave me alone, but he never does.
And now he has the nerve to tell me "I'm not doing this with you, it's over." They are very sick individuals; if you know you're with one, make every attempt to leave, otherwise stay in the burning building but you will get burned - remember you can leave, do it for yourself.