Oh yes, I have been that light socket that he plugged into.
(Sacramento, Ca USA)
Everything, I mean everything is exactly this way in my relationship. I have been the hard worker, the moral center in the home. Let me stop on that front before I begin to sound Narcissistic myself!
But it's true. I worked, he played. I saved, he spent, and spent and spent. It has lead to the ruination of our finances and stability.
When approached about it, the customary answer, you spend too. No budget was ever adhered to.
Bills became unimportant. Fancy clothes, jewelry, cars, and accessories were the only thing that matter. Because of course he had to look good! "Don't I look good? I should have these things. Anything less than approval was not tolerated.
When we would go out socially, I would sometimes feel so embarrassed at how over dressed and pompous he always had to be. Canes, hats, gloves to go to a family party. Seriously, I am not making this up.
We have reached bottom, the arguments, yelling, the constant battle lines in my home are draining. And now I read that even this is a tactic and a ploy. Well no more, the plug has pulled.
Stay or go, it stops now! If he leaves, he leaves at least he will take this Spirit with him when he goes!