Thought he Was A Godsend

by Ashley Lowe

Met him in February. Learned who he really was by end of August.

I thought he was the love of my life, my soulmate, and someone from God sent to heal me after my ex of four years abruptly broke up with me and moved to DC a year later.

I was still hurting when I met him, and he was the first guy to ever tell me he loved me more than once per month. He told me everyday, for no reason.

I was head over heels and thanked God for finally sending me "my first real relationship" at the age of 24.

I couldn't have been more wrong though. Everything I've read points to narcissisic abuse by him. I started looking up "the silent treatment" and I got here.

He would get mad out of nowhere, always when we weren't together (we didn't live together) and ignore all of my desperate calls and texts. Yet if I ever took longer than two mins to reply to him he'd flip the hell out.

He would always text me with exclamation points at the end of his sentences. Always "text-yelling". Called me mean names, cussed me out. We even had a running joke where my nickname was "little dumdum", bcs according to him I was always making dumb mistakes.

My final straw was his week-long silent treatment. This was something that had already happened two or three times before which he promised he would never do again. He even cried for me not to leave him, said I was his world.

He pulled me in bcs he made me feel special and he made me feel heard. A shy girl from a family of 12 doesn't get that very often. He saw who I was that's why he chose me. He always said that he chose me for "my kindness", which he clearly took for weakness.

I'm just glad God awoke me to who this highly unaccomplished, self righteous loser and self-declared "rebel" (more like illuminati/conspiracy fanatic) in just six months of being his gf.

I feel blessed not to have years of hurt to get over. He was a hurt soul who endured torture during his childhood, loss of both his parents, and growing up in the warzone that was an officially failed country.

I thought he had strength, but it was weakness that allowed for weakness to warp him. I am still hurt and this relationship has only just ended.

I can only pray that God protects me from abusive narcissistic men such as him in the future.

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