What is Narcissism?
An introduction to the
Narcissistic Personality Inventory

There is no short and easy answer to the question What is Narcissism, unless the Narcissistic Personality Inventory from the DSM is enough for you. That would be nice, and would make for a short article, but a pat answer isn’t what you’re looking for, is it?

Instead, let’s start with the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, and then go a little in-depth and look at some things like narcissistic supply (that’s you, by the way), lack of empathy, superiority complex, and more.

In some other articles, we’ll also talk about narcissistic abuse and narcissistic injury, and the always popular narcissistic projection.

HERE WE GO:

If someone were to ask you What is Narcissism?, what would your answer be?

1. someone in love with themselves
2. a person with a superiority complex or high self focus
3. a character disorder
4. psychological disability
5. a person with a lack of empathy
6. all of the above

If you answered with ‘all of the above’, you’d be right, with a twist on answer A.

To learn about that twist, we go to the origin of the name for ‘narcissist’, to the Greek myths concerning one ‘Narcissus’, son of a naiad and a river god. (Never mind what a naiad is; you can look it up later).

Narcissus was particularly beautiful, but proud and cold, rejecting any love that was offered to him.

One rejected suitor complained to the god Nemesis, asking that Nemesis make Narcissus fall in love with himself.

As Narcissus bent down to drink from a river one day, he saw his reflection in the water and fell in love with…..not himself, but a reflection of himself.

This is an important distinction, because the narcissist is in love with what he wants to believe is his true self – his reflection, what he sends out to the world. What he truly feels for himself is hatred, but this is at a subconscious level.

It is of the utmost importance to the narcissist that the rest of the world also believes in the reflection – and he will go to great lengths to defend that image - which is why so many of us who have firsthand experience with one will have a hard time convincing the rest of the world that it’s all an illusion. Initially we may even have a hard time ourselves, believing such a harsh diagnosis.

Aren’t narcissists cold? But we can think of times that our narcissist was warm and loving.

Someone with a superiority complex – don’t they act like a ‘little Napoleon’? Yet we can remember times that our narcissist seemed to be humble.

If a narcissist suffers from a lack of empathy, why can we remember times our narcissistic seemed kind and caring?

Okay, so let’s get this out of the way and get on with it:

THE DIAGNOSTIC AND STATISTICAL MANUAL OF MENTAL DISORDERS

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) – or DSM for purposes of this discussion - is, well, basically what it says. It’s the handbook for professionals who are interested in mental disorders; mainly psychiatrists, pharmaceutical companies, health insurance companies, etc.

This book may be helpful for those sorts, but for the rest of us – not so much.

The DSM’s answer to What is Narcissism is about as helpful as if you asked ‘what is a house’, and someone answered ‘something with four walls and a ceiling’. That sort of answer doesn’t really give you a clue as to whether or not they’d actually lived in a house, nor does it give you an accurate picture of how to differentiate between a house and say, a factory.

But for the sake of the clinical types, we’ll give the DSM’s Narcissistic Personality Inventory, talk about some descriptions of each point, and then move on to deeper stuff.

Understand: there are many types and levels of narcissistic behavior, just as there are many types of houses. Some or all of these definitions may describe your narcissist, or perhaps only a few.

It’s important not to judge someone as having a character disorder on the basis of just a few of these bullet points; just because someone is argumentative, seems full of themselves or doesn’t seem to care what you’re going through does not necessarily make them a narcissist.

It might make them an unpleasant human being, but that’s for a different website. On the other hand, if the shoe fits………

What is Narcissism? click here for Narcissistic Personality Inventory